[Ask Chaitra]: “I like my job but I hate my boss…”

"Dear Chaitra, I've held 5 jobs in the last 6 years and just took up my sixth job a week ago. I like my job but I hate my boss. Actually, this has been happening in all my previous jobs also. I loved my role, my colleagues, etc. but absolutely hated all my previous bosses. Now I hate my current boss as well. How can I ensure this won't happen to me again?"  Regards, Frustrated Employee

Dear Frustrated Employee, 

I've been in your shoes before. At my first job straight out of college, I ended up in a toxic job with a toxic boss (kind of like a 2-for-1 offer) and struggled for an entire month before I quit. I wanted to make sure my next job wasn't anything like my first. It was  crucial to get myself a boss who could play a positive, mentor-like role at work and look after my professional goals and interests. I feel this is especially important for job-seekers or those moving into new roles as the first ninety days in a new job have the ability to set the tone for the rest of your tenure.

Unfortunately you seem to be stuck in "Groundhog Day" like situation where you're trapped in a vicious cycle of working for toxic bosses. Not only is it making your professional life unbearable, but it can harm your future prospects as well. Employers don't look too favorably upon job-hopping candidates. I think I might have a solution for you. Like I said, I wanted to make sure I would never get a toxic boss again. Therefore, during my job interviews I asked certain questions to my potential boss / hiring manager to get a better understanding of what it would be to work in the organization. Some of these were: 

1. When was the last time your team underwent any changes in members?

A sudden and unexplained decrease in numbers or resignation of team members is often an indication of conflict within the team, most likely with the manager. Therefore if you find that the team composition changes frequently, you might want to reconsider working with such a manager.

2. How do you give negative / constructive feedback to your employees?

Firstly, the key is to ensure that feedback is being given regularly. Secondly, you also need to ensure that when there is a need to give constructive feedback to an employee, your potential boss does so in a respectful and private manner. You certainly don't want to work for a boss who likes to embarrass poor performers in front of the whole team.

3. How does your team celebrate achieving a goal/milestone?

Recognition plays a big role in one'e level of job satisfaction therefore you want a boss who will acknowledge and appreciate your contributions. If your team won't celebrate big and small wins, you risk being demotivated and disengaged at work. 

4. Do you meet your team one-on-one on a regular basis?

A boss who conducts one-on-ones regularly with their team is more in tune with their professional goals and strengths. If your boss can't be bothered to meet with you or speak to you one-on-one, he/she will probably not be bothered about your career aspirations as well. 

5. Who is a leader you wish you were more like and why?

The first part of this question is important but the second part even more so. Your manager's answer to the "why?" part will help you develop a greater understanding of the behaviors and traits he/she believes are vital to the success of a leader and predict which ones he will be most likely to emulate. 

6. What do you love most about your current team?

A leader who doesn't have a single good thing to say about his / her team is either a perfectionist or a pessimist and you're probably better off working for someone who isn't so hard to please. By asking this question, you will also get a better sense of what behaviors or values he expects from his /her team members.

7. What do you attribute to your success as a leader so far?

The answer to this question will help reveal the dominant aspect of your potential boss' leadership style. Only if you are comfortable with the answer should you take up the offer. 

Toxic bosses can make your job and life toxic as well. Therefore, choose you next boss wisely. Use these questions to weed out toxic managers so that you never end up with a job you love but a boss you hate, ever again.